Happy Birthday Meagan Theresa!

For the first time in weeks, I actually fell asleep.. passed out... was "dead to the world" on Thursday night. It felt so good because I hadn't slept in a LONG time. Well this lasted about 3 hours until we heard the first crackle of thunder from the storms passing through and immediately, I had 3 children and our 80 pound Labrador in our room.  Luckily the baby sleeps through it all and she stayed in her crib.  Of course at this point.. with kids up and us having a practical monsoon outside, I coudln't go back to sleep because my c-section was that morning.... So much for sleep :)

We arrived at the hospital early as our OB had told us to... only to be taken back to pre-op over an hour past our original time. .. go figure. We got back to pre-op.. and from there on out, it was a complete blur! Everything was extremely rushed... bloodwork, prepping for surgery, questions, monitoring..etc.  I did have a slight "panic attack" because the nurse could NOT find Meagan's heartbeat. Now, I know little Miss Meagan has been extremely difficult to find at appointments and at my NST's... but.. this time it was SO long. And nothing. Not even her kicking me to tell me "I'm ok.. I am just playing hide and seek"

Luckily, my OB was already there.  She whisked herself away to grab an ultrasound machine and came back with it to my prep room.  She looked around for several seconds and then was able to see her heartbeat. WHEW.  Apparently she had flipped in a weird way and it was almost undetectable.  Way to give mommy a heart attack on the day of surgery little one!

Our parish priest showed up - gave us a blessing and then was put into scrubs so he was ready to come in the OR when called.  My husband got into his scrubs too - he looked so good. (ha) ... we had some fun with that and took a picture of him.  Then, the ansthesiologist was going to come in.. but I heard a familiar voice outside the curtain....
Some background - I teach flute lessons.. and one of my students has both parents in the medical field... the mother is a Pediatrician and the father works in Anesthesia... The dad had been on OB the day before, but, was not for the day of my section so when I heard his voice, I was quite surprised!  He came in and talked to Brian and myself and said he had swapped out with someone else from Anesthesia so he could be with us that day.  It was the nicest thing - because it gave us another familiar face in that operating room and someone we knew and trusted.  It helped me A LOT and we truly appreciate him making the effort to come and help us with Meagan's delivery!

We were finally all ready to go - we went down the hallway to the OR ... they gave me my Spinal (which wasn't bad at all by the way) ... they got the table set up while my OB scrubbed in... she returned and away we went!

All staff in the room were GREAT at talking with me - it helped the time fly by and helped my mind stay off of what was going on.  I had been quite nervous before they started on the surgery, so all the distractions were welcome!

Finally I heard my OB say "ok it's about time!"  The next few moments were SO painful ... not because of the incisions or the pressure of getting her out.. but because my shoulders and lower neck were absolutely KILLING me...  the doctors were great though and stayed on top of it. They gave me something in my IV to help with the pain in my shoulders and it did get better. It took a few minutes to get her out.. they had to do quite a bit of tugging, pulling, and put a lot of pressure on me.  Her head was pretty far down, at least as far as it could be considering its size, and she was being a little difficult at coming out! Finally, I felt a HUGE sense of relief - I could breathe for the first time in months.. .she was out.

The NICU staff took her over to the table to clean her up/assess her vitals. Meanwhile, they called in the Priest... he Baptized her right away and then Confirmed her.  It was very bittersweet.  I was glad Meagan was getting what she needed spiritually, but all the struggles we had with the priest had really tainted the "human" part of it.  I had to just focus on the fact that Meagan was getting invaluable sacraments, and he (the priest) was only the person - it was really God helping Meagan and maybe somehow through all of this, the priest would change his inaccuracies so future families could have their sick children cared for. Still, it was a hard pill to swallow.  Father stayed with my husband while the hospital staff took care of Meagan. They brought her over for me to kiss once and we got a family photo taken... then she was whisked off to the NICU and my husband followed.

Meanwhile, they finished up with me in the OR .. and then wheeled me to recovery.  Brian came back and showed me all the pictures he had taken.  I didn't really get to see her a long time - just a few seconds.. and because of where the table was in the OR, I hadn't seen the Baptism/Confirmation either, so it was great to look at those pictures. 

The nurses in the recovery area took great care of me - and after about an hour or so, I was wheeled upstairs to recovery.  I had a good friend come sit with me while Brian got ready to go to Children's. The Transport team was very nice - they wheeled Meagan in her little incubator up to me in recovery so I could see her one more time before she left. Then she and Brian made their way to Children's Hospital. 

I spent much of the rest of the day relaxing - trying to start my healing process.  My friend brought a movie I loved and we watched it together.. I made sure to stay up on my fluids and try to start getting some milk for Meagan. 

Meagan herself was doing great.  Except for a little oxygen at the start, she was breathing on her own on room air.  She scored an 8-9 on her APGAR (10 is highest), and she seemed pink and alert.  Her head circumference was 49cm+ and she had a LOT of dark brown hair.

Now we wait at the hospital.. I should be discharged in about 3 days .. my husband is continuing to go back and forth between here and Children's Hospital to keep tabs on Meagan.  She is awaiting her MRIs today so the Neurosurgeon can see more detail of what he's dealing with and where the best shunt placement will be.  Apparently, her surgery has been scheduled for Monday, unless he decides differently. Part of this is probably to her doing ok in the NICU (vitals being good) and the other part due to the fact that it is Saturday - so they prefer to do the surgeries on weekdays.. the next one being Monday.

Overall everything went very smoothly ... I do miss her A LOT though.  I know she is where she needs to be - and she's in wonderful hands... but... as a mother you just want them in YOUR hands.. not someone else's.  I think I have slept less here than when the newborns are in the room with me crying every 2 hours for food... but.. what can you do.

I'm so happy she's "here" finally ... and I'm glad we'll get her scans done today and see if there are any other brain issues/abnormalities present.  It will be a relief to have more facts - to at least see if we are dealing with more than just the Hydrocephalus..etc. so we will see.

Meagan, I miss you so much! I hope to see you soon so I can touch you and kiss you.  It is hard being apart from you but I know this is what is best for you so you can reach your fullest potential in life.  Hugs and kisses.