Reilly answering "which time" really showed the maturity she has gained in the last 5 years of being Meagan's oldest sister. It has led her and my other girls to ask really tough and thought provoking questions. One they asked the other day was "why does a "good life" always have to be a life that's painted with rainbows and roses?" The answer is, it doesn't. And they know that it's just not the case.
Ours is a different life than a lot of our friends. Our kids have a different perspective than lots of their friends. But, that's ok. As much as I missed my sweet girls on the countless nights at CHOA, as much as I felt the 'mom guilt' over the many events I had to forego to make sure their sister was safe, as much as the sacrifices we have had to make as a family to just stay above water that other families couldn't possibly comprehend have caused stress or worry..... I would not change one moment. Not one.
I don't doubt at times it is difficult to be Meagan's sister. I think Cara will realize this as she grows and starts to recognize some of the struggles of being a special needs sibling. So tonight as I reflect on Reilly's answer of "which time?" when asked about Meagan's homecoming 5 years ago this week....... I think she has a point. Which time? Which time was really the most important that Meagan was home with us?
Every time. Every time her sweet smile, stubborn attitude, and persistent drive entered these halls was the best time. Every time was a special time. And we will continue to have special times. Every day we have with her sweet soul is a gift - a gift full of continuous lessons my girls will continue to take with them each year they navigate this journey alongside myself and Brian.
Five years ago our lives changed forever as Meagan finally came through the doors of our home. But five years ago, we didn't realize we were already changed. Because Meagan had already entered the doors of our hearts.....