The 5 Year Lesson

It's hard to believe it has been a whole 5 years since Meagan was born. But, as they say, time flies when you're having fun.  Fun? Probably not the word you would use to describe our last few months, right? We have had some harrowing times recently with Megs and those have not been fun.  As a matter of fact, they have been downright scary.  However, here we are, safely past her 5th birthday and on to year number 6! And although I wouldn't characterize our last few months as "fun" with all that has happened, I can't think about Meagan without thinking of fun. 

Meagan has come a long way in 5 years.  She has started walking this last year, talking more, eating more things, and overall being more curious about life.  Those are all big changes, and we are grateful for all of her many positive strides....but I think the biggest lesson we have learned in her 5 years with us is that while Meagan has come a long way, we have come a longer way.  As a family, as parents, and as humans.  Meagan has taught us how to have fun and how to love.  Priceless lessons we would otherwise have never learned.
When we were gifted Meagan as our child, (and yes, she is a gift, as are all our children), there were a lot of questions.  There still are, to be honest.  As a matter of fact, we probably have more questions now about her future than we did when she was born.  As she grows, life gets complicated, and so do her challenges.  These last few months have been particularly hard because they were the first few times we literally felt helpless and were very scared she may not come home with us.  Our girls, for the first time, felt the fear of their sister not being with them.  But those experiences have made us realize how strong we are as a family and how much Meagan means to us as a unit.  Because Meagan is fun.  And our family wouldn't be fun without her.
In Meagan's 5 short years, she has taught us how to laugh in serious situations.  She has taught us how to think freely without reservation.  She has taught us how to ask questions, answer without a filter, and say what's on our mind.  Meagan has taught us humor, compassion, and friendship.  Most of all, Meagan has taught us how to love unconditionally.  She has taught us judgement-free, unfiltered, pure unconditional love.  Of all Meagan's accomplishments, I think this is the most important.
As a parent we always talk about unconditional love.  We love our kids no matter what.  Of course we do.  But we are also human and we still have tiny stigmas that come along with that.  Not Meagan.  She is free of those reservations we struggle to ignore.  I have seen her hug someone after they were mean to her - she being totally unaware of the "mean" but just sensing the person needed a hug.  I have seen her rub her sisters heads when they were sick even though she may be having an off day.  I have seen her snuggle her dad when he's tired.  I have seen her give kisses to her baby sister when she's crying.  Meagan doesn't sit around and analyze whether someone needs love...she just gives it.  Without judgement.  Without hesitation.  Meagan really is love, to the truest definition.

We were blessed this year to have many friends be able to attend Meagan's birthday celebration.  We probably had close to 100 people at the house throughout the day.  The afternoon was filled with laughter, celebration and fun.  Meagan was beaming when everyone sang her "Happy Birthday" and loved seeing all her friends.  She spent the evening Facetiming with her extended family far away and loved talking to her grandparents and aunts, uncles, and cousins.  It was quite a celebration for a 5 year old.  But, as we already know, she isn't your typical 5 year old. She is loved by many.

Life is serious.  It is very serious.  And, we do have to treat many situations with such gravity as they cross our path.  Still fresh in my mind is sitting in the ambulance in Virginia holding Meagan's limp hand as the EMS tried to get her to breathe again....or cradling her on the side of the road covered in vomit as she seized and desperately looking for the ambulance to find us.  These are very serious things that we have lived through with Megs.  However, even in those desperate times, all I could think about was missing my fun little girl... her smiles, her sweet nature and her love.  Even in serious situations, Meagan had helped me to think about the positive.  She showed me why we trudge through all the serious - because the fun times are what make it all worth it.

I am so excited to see what the next 5 years hold for sweet Meagan.  Surely there will be more difficulty ahead.  But we know that, right? I just hope we can get through it all with as much poise and love as she has helped us manifest up until this point.  The world has enough darkness.  I'm so thankful that Meagan is here to keep spreading her light.  Her beautiful, judgement free light of love.

Looking back, I now see that it's not Meagan who has come a long way in 5 years...but really the rest of us, who have been lucky enough to encounter Meagan's love if even for a moment.  We have so much more to learn from her little soul, and I cannot wait to open my heart to those lessons. I hope you will too.