Face of hope

Face of hope
Courtesy: TIffany Kay Photography

Monday, June 20, 2011

The Coach

I thought in the midst of all this, I just had to stop, and take a moment to give a 'shout out' to my husband, Brian. 
Brian and I met in college - we had a group of mutual friends ... started dating Sophomore year, got married after he was finished with Graduate School, and, well, that's about all she wrote :)  We started having kids right away - we knew we wanted to start young since we had been lucky enough to meet young.  Our first was born 10 months after our wedding. 17 months later, we had our second. 15 months after that, our third was born. The space between #3 and #4 felt like forever because it was a full 2 years (gasp) and this little one will be 2 years behind our 4th.  We are just so blessed with our family, but alot of that is due to Brian and the person he is.

I'm not sure about most guys out there - but - Brian surviving each day with (almost) 6 women in the house and still having a great attitude and smile on his face sure says alot. I'm sure he would love to have a son to do "guy things" with, but, every time, he has just been so excited to have another little princess in his life. He is the best daddy ever. He plays kitchen with them, princess, he schools them in how to be a loyal basketball fan (to Xavier University of COURSE! Go Muskies!), and he always tries to teach them new things. He also can make them laugh by using some of his 'guy humor' and they always get such a kick out of that.  He is stern when he needs to be, but, very loving and open to them.  He is the best girls' daddy ever. 

All this news has been quite a shock to both of us, but, I know it has hit Brian especially hard. Brian worries very differently than I do. I have my emotional moments, but, I tend to talk about it alot, ask questions, seek information, and run full force into the storm looking for any answers I can find.  Brian takes in all the information, but, he rarely talks about it. He is a wonderful listener, but, he also is very nervous about the path we are traveling down.  I know he has other worries on his plate, like our well being, how he is going to provide financially for all of our newly  learned medical bills, how he will provide if Meagan has problems down the road..etc. I know he must be so stressed about these things, and I feel awful about that. But I also feel proud to have such a great man by my side. The very fact that he is worried shows me how much he loves this little girl already - and he hasn't even held her yet. 

Brian is the best dad because he puts being a dad first.  He has a very demanding job - which I respect, and appreciate. However, upon finding out Meagan's diagnosis, I was shocked to wake up the next day and find Brian was still at home. He took all of us to the Zoo that day - just to hang out as a family, and have some time together and let everything soak in.  At night, while I am putting dishes away, I will notice the girls are just "gone"... and then I go upstairs to find he is putting Maura's nighttime diaper on, or helping the older girls brush teeth or get into bed.  In the mornings, if one of the girls wakes up early, I notice he walks downstairs and fixes some cereal so I can lay down just a few minutes more.  He takes all 4 kids to Mass while I volunteer to play and he never complains about handling them all by himself while I am in the choir loft.  He prays with the girls at night before they go to sleep.  And throughout the day, he will just call or text and ask me "How are you?"   He has been "present" through the weekends as far as being mentally and emotionally there for us, and hasn't let work distract him away from our family time.  For all our doctor appointments, he has been right there with me - and for most of them now, he has gone ahead and worked from home the rest of the day because he knows how I am more stressed on days where we find out new information. He just stays near in case I need him.  He also already took initiative to inform his work of what was going on so he can continue to be there and support me, or help Meagan when she is born. 

Brian is a very hard worker - he puts A LOT into his job. He is smart, witty, and gets the job done - he is a go getter and a strong employee. But he also never loses sight of what is really important in life. When things got tough, he came through. I never minded putting the kids to bed while he worked late - but now, that rarely happens because he tries to be home more to help.  I never minded him working through some weekends, but now, he rarely pulls out the computer so he can give our girls his FULL attention.  I never minded any of the obligations he felt were necessary to better himself at his job -- but -- I see now that he also knows which obligations are most important - and that is to us, his family.

When we started having kids, we talked about numbers. I come from just two.. one brother and me.  Brian comes from five... I was open to whatever, so he mentioned thinking it would be fun to have his own "basketball team" (five kids) like he had growing up. I said sure, let's go for it, but take one child at a time and see what happens. After our 3rd girl was born, we joked about growing the "team"... but it possibly being an all girls team. Now, after finding out #5 is a girl -- it is no joke! :) I always get a kick out of this because it's something we just never thought would happen. 

Looking down the road, I thank God for such a great guy.  A great husband, who constantly runs out buying the Acai Blueberry popsicles I, uh, I mean, Meagan, is addicted to.... a great father who is always there for his girls and shows them through his actions that a REAL man and father is there for his family FIRST ... and a great friend who is always worried about what others need.

I think God knew what He was doing by giving us 5 girls, and one as special as Meagan will be... because he knew that Brian was a great Coach. God knew Brian could handle the all girls team, and handle anything that came there way. Meagan needs cheering on now to keep growing and staying healthy... Brian does that.  She will need a loving person by her side as she is transferred to Children's Hospital, away from me, and is prepped for surgery - Brian will be there. And she'll need that person to push her beyond her limits when she reaches a point where she may be struggling developmentally... and I know Brian will push her.

Meagan, you better get ready girl! You are the final member of the team... and I know your Daddy is not only the best daddy in the world, but also the best Coach you could ever ask for. He loves you so much already.

And Brian - thank you a million times over. I know, now, why God put us together.  Even though I have it together most of the time, this stubborn Slavic girl needs a shoulder to lean on through times like this..... our girls need a strong example of what a real loving father is..... and our family needs the example you bring everyday through your actions and words. Congratulations on a great team Coach.. go get 'em!


  1. Hi Molly and Brian, I am here from Karen's blog at Ladybug Creek! I just want you to know that I am adding ALL of you to my prayer list! I just had a Grandson born with medical issues and prayed mighty hard for him, I will do the same for Meagan!

    Have a blessed day! BIG HUGS!

  2. Molly and Brian, as I believe I mentioned to you earlier, Meagan is on the prayer list at church. I even have people emailing me wanting to know the latest. We are all praying!!
    Theresa, who has joined your blog, is a true prayer warrior.
    Love, Karen & David

  3. It's funny, but just this morning I was thinking....how in the world have we become a nation of people looking for the "easy way out". We've gone from a nation of hardworking, self sacrificing, moral people, to a country that "expects" that "disregards" and "makes excuses" so that they can have or live the way they want.

    Then I read your ENTIRE blog :-D

    And now I know that there are still people out there that don't quit when it gets hard; that don't put themselves before EVERYONE else; and they understand that sometimes, you just don't get to understand.

    So... The following article from Erma Bombeck came to mind. You may have already heard it, but I wanted to leave it for you just in case.

    Bless you and your family.

    "Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit. This year nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen?

    Somehow I visualize God hovering over earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.

    "Armstrong, Beth; son. Patron saint...give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."

    "Forrest, Marjorie; daughter. Patron saint, Cecelia."

    "Rutledge, Carrie; twins. Patron saint, Matthew."

    Finally He passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a handicapped child."

    The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so happy."

    "Exactly," smiles God, "Could I give a handicapped child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."

    "But has she patience?" asks the angel.

    "I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she'll handle it."

    "I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has his own world. She has to make him live in her world and that's not going to be easy."

    "But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you." God smiles, "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect -she has just enough selfishness." The angel gasps - "selfishness? is that a virtue?"

    God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a "spoken word". She will never consider a "step" ordinary. When her child says "Momma" for the first time, she will be present at a miracle, and will know it!"

    "I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty, prejudice....and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing My work as surely as if she is here by My side".

    "And what about her Patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in mid-air.

    God smiles, "A mirror will suffice."