Breath of Heaven - Christmas 2012

I know I have said many times how thankful I am for the gift of my family and my children.  And it is true - they are certainly a gift.  But what I've started to realize is that the gift is not by happenstance.  Not by a fluke.  And most definitely not by chance.  The gift of my family was the plan.  I didn't choose to have children - God chose me to be their mother.  This is what makes children such special gifts to us.  They are not only given to us by God, but we are also chosen at the same time to be the guardians of these gifts.

Playing with Pop Pop

I found myself pondering this a lot this Christmas season. I began to again contemplate what Mary must have felt.  Out of every woman in the world, God chose her to carry His son. To continue His plan.  To most importantly, be Jesus' mother.  I think, likewise, it is no accident we are parents to the children we have for a reason.  I wasn't only blessed with my girls. God actively chose me to be their mother.  I didn't happen to have a child like Meagan.  God knew, for some reason, I could do it  - and he chose me.  Thinking about that humbles me to my core. 

Loving Nana's Christmas lights necklace

Christmas this year was great at the Gareau household.  My parents were here.  My grandmother was here.  My brother and his wife were here with their son.  All of us were together.  We spent time talking, visiting, and watching the kids play.  We attended Christmas Mass together and enjoy each other's company by relaxing in the evenings with a good movie and some beverages. We also exchanged gifts, as many families do, on Christmas morning. Everyone had a great time.

Helping Meagan explore her new toy

I found myself thinking of last Christmas.  Meagan was newly home, and  I know I thought a lot about what a miracle she was, and rightfully so.  But this year it hit me how I was chosen to receive this gift. How was I entrusted with such a miracle baby?

 Just as we lovingly choose gifts at Christmas for our loved ones, God chooses us for our children.  He knows the perfect match.  As He chose Mary to carry Jesus, he chooses us to carry our children.  I keep going back to lyrics from a song I love... part of those lyrics say, "Do you wonder as you watch my face......if a wiser one should have had my place..."  No.  I think I'm right where I'm supposed to be.  No one else could be Meagan's mom. This was the plan. This was God's plan for us.

 The girls decorated their little tree

This Christmas, I want to pause and say "Thank you" to God for choosing me.  Thank you for carefully choosing the gifts of my girls, and for entrusting me with them and the special gift of our youngest baby girl. Tonight, as the tree lights are dimly lighting up our living room, I finally find time to think. The girls are in bed.. the house is quiet.  Meagan is asleep and all I can hear is her tiny breath as she peacefully rests in my arms. 

In the background, I can hear more of those song lyrics resonating in my head.....

  "...Breath of heaven,

Hold me together,

Be forever near me,

Breath of heaven...."

....And what a breath of heaven she is.  Merry Christmas.

Loving on her Elmo

Santa brought Meagan an Exersaucer to use for therapy

First taste of chocolate

Merry Christmas to all!