Just Mine

With the Christmas season upon us in full force, I've started to turn on some of the seasonal music that I enjoy listening to each year.  I heard a song on the radio I hadn't heard before - called Joseph's Lullaby.  There was a lyric in it that caught my attention:

I believe the glory of Heaven
Is lying in my arms tonight
Lord, I ask that He for just this moment
Simply be my child

It made me think of all the nights my kids will wake up for various reasons.  My first instinct, most of the time, is "how do I get them back in bed the fastest way possible?"  This is understandable.  As parents, we are busy.  We have many things going on...possibly work..possibly a personal struggle...possibly a child with needs..or any combination of reasons.  We finally crawl into bed at some late hour, knowing we will be up early the next morning...and then we hear it - the cry.  Our first thought is "ughhh" at getting pulled out of our warm bed...out of our much needed sleep to go tend to the little ones.

In the grind of life, these interruptions by our children seem trying.  It seems like "really.... one more thing?" I know I have certainly felt this for the last 10 days with Meagan waking in the night, having on and off fevers, refusing certain feedings, being fussy...it has definitely been a sleepless week for this Mama.  After hearing this verse from Joseph's Lullaby, though,  I started thinking about how he must have felt.  Knowing his child was born only to die to save him from his own sins.  What a bittersweet moment for a new father.  And at the same time, what a selfless moment for a new father.  I wonder...did Joseph dread those moments when baby Jesus woke in the night? Did he dread the little interruptions that happen with a young child? I'm sure, at some point, he was only human and did have those feelings.  But I also think Joseph must have cherished every moment, and literally, every moment, knowing what his Son was destined to be for the world.  He knew his Son would not always be just his own.

This Christmas, as I'm blinded by lights, advertisements  and ornaments in the stores, I have to remind myself that first, it is Advent.  First, it is a time to prepare.  We don't know what may come tomorrow, and yet we want to rush through those trying moments that seem a little too much to handle. I think Joseph's Lullaby is an important Advent lesson - enjoy every moment with our children.  They are all destined for great things....but we do not know what those great things are.  Only God does.

I was on the brink of losing my patience a few nights back...it was the 10th day Meagan had been unbearably fussy, my older girls were very tired and bouncing off the walls, and I had been going non stop all week between house chores, bill paying, and rehearsing for our Christmas concert.  I was in the kitchen cleaning up and listening to all the noise build in my house.  Just as it was starting to really push me to my breaking point, I looked over to check on Meagan and saw this:

I literally took a breath upon seeing her.  She almost appeared to be praying.  God gave me the momentary reminder I needed to soak up the moment rather than be annoyed by it.  He was reminding me to prepare.  So the next time one of my girls awakens with a bad dream, or Meagan cries in the night, I will try to be more patient.  I will try to prepare myself in that moment, for the day when those moments will no longer happen. 

Tonight I plan on giving my girls a little bit longer hug before bed.  I plan on holding Meagan a little longer.  And even if she is up yet again, instead of thinking about my lack of sleep, or the annoyance of being awakened in the night, I will try to instead enjoy the silence of us together.  That moment when she is surely, just mine.