Face of hope

Face of hope
Courtesy: TIffany Kay Photography

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Self Reflection

Being a mom of 5, there are many mornings that are just crazy.  Rushing around, trying to get the older ones ready for school, while making sure the younger ones are dressed and ready for the day..... emptying the dishwasher, getting a load of laundry in...getting school bags ready.... looking over my emails for Drama and music and making sure I have my "ducks in a row" for the day.... and of course making sure I gave Meagan her meds and have her settled.  It is a busy time of my day for sure.

There are many mornings when I'm so rushed, that I just have to go "as is".... I jump in the shower, jump out, and have no time for make up or hair. I'm clean, put together, but can't do anything to make myself feel "set" for the day just yet.  Many mornings like that I look in the mirror and think "UGH!"  Every mom knows that "ugh" feeling.. we all have mornings like that... we look at our reflection and think "hmmmmm....not my best day"....

Tonight I pulled up my computer to look at the blog.  I was holding Meagan on my lap... when her picture came up on the blog, her eyes LOCKED into place.  She just stared - at herself.  I looked at her, talked to her, and then realized she was looking at herself.  The beautiful black and white photo I put as her cover photo on this page.  She must have sat for several seconds just staring at herself.  I snapped a picture because I thought it was the sweetest thing.

What was she seeing? Did she know it was her own picture? What did she think of herself? 

Then I got to thinking how we are so hard on ourselves.  Those mornings we are rushed...and we look in the mirror and see that "blah" self we "didn't " make up or polish.  What about Meagan? What did she see in her photo?  It is a plain photo of her - no smile... yet so beautiful.  No color - yet so much character.  It made me realize that we see what we want to see. 

So maybe on mornings when things are a little crazy, instead of looking at my wet hair that isn't styled because I ran out of time, I will see a cleaner home for my kids.  Maybe when I see my face with hardly any make up because I was rushing out the door, I will see my time I got to sit with my daughters at breakfast.  Maybe when I look at myself in the mirror on those days, instead of my first thought being "ugh" at the clothes that don't fit quite right... I need to realize how much that "ugh" feeling was worth those 10 extra minutes with my baby. 

Meagan reminded me that self reflection is just that - not what we physically see... but how we interpret the image. What is behind the picture that tells the real story?

 Tonight when Meagan spotted the picture on my computer, she seemed drawn in by the cute baby face. 
There is a song from Disney's "Mulan" that says:

 "Who is that girl I see
staring straight back at me?
When will my reflection show
who i am inside?"

Well Meagan... your reflection does show a beautiful baby face.  But also, a role model.  A brave soldier.  A beautiful angel.

Because that is who YOU are inside. 


  1. You don't know me but I followed your journey on Fertility Friend and pray for your family all of the time. I live in Dallas and have 6 children of my own. I too have been blessed with some children with health issues. We deal with anaphylactic food allergies, GERD, severe allergies, protein issues, asthma, FTT and have two childen with g-j tubes. We have almost lost a couple of our children several times. Sometimes life is an hour by hour journey but God always sees us through. Your story, strength and attitude is a testimony to your faith.

  2. Molly,
    This post is absolutely beautiful and so are you and Meagan. I love you all:)