We have now had Meagan's gait trainer three weeks. She still screams and cries every time we put her in it, but she still tries. She's doing really well since surgery, but gait trainer time is definitely her worst part of the day - she absolutely hates it. We were worried that all she would do is scream and get nothing out of this with therapy, but in the last few days we have seen a transition. Still tears? Yes. Still upset? Yes. But her focus has shifted. Instead of asking to get out, now she says "See Mommy," or "huggy Mommy".... and works through her crying and whining to put her feet forward one more time. Just one more inch to reach that goal. A few more tries. She still goes. And you can bet when she reaches me, she gets the biggest hug ever. It is in those moments that I realize she's not giving up. It's not even on her radar. She struggles and it's hard. It is tough.....but she has proven tougher, and she pushes through.
I'm pretty sure I will feel like giving up again on something in my life, whether silly or serious. But all I have to do is think of Megs and realize if she's not giving up, neither can I. She amazes me all the time. But most especially in those moments where I know it would just be easier for her to stop. To say "that's enough." And just give up. But as famed author C.S Lewis said, "What saves a man is to take a step. Then another step."
And so that is what Meagan does. One step at a time, I see success through her tears. One step at a time I see a little strength in her weakness. And one step at a time, I see giving up slipping further and further away....and perseverance shining through.
I'm so proud of you Meagan!